A Bad Time To Love Dallas Sports
Jerry Jones you are the dumbest motherfucker alive.
Please continue to stay alive and running the Cowboys for another 50 years.
Obviously I had to throw this one together rather quickly, considering the timing of the news, so it’s a bit simple. I can’t believe they actually traded him. I was certain this was all a dog and pony show that was going to end the same way the Dak saga did. It’s fucking Micah Parsons. He’s one of the top defensive players in the entire league. He’s a gamewrecker. He’s a centerpiece. A foundational structure. A load-bearing wall. Blue Chip. You do not trade players like that! If Jerry wasn’t going to trade Dak or CeeDee (both arguably more expendable, imo), why would you trade this guy? Jerry, you fucking dunce. I love you.
Two firsts and Kenny Clark. That’s it. The 49ers traded more to pick Trey Lance. The Packers just went from playoff contenders to potential Super Bowl contenders. That likely puts the first rounders Dallas gets near the bottom of round 1. Luckily they will have their own picks in the top 5 for the foreseeable future. I can’t get over this. Jerry could have paid Micah just part of this contract half a year ago and got to keep him, and instead we are here. Absolute buffoonery. And yet despite all of this it is still somehow the second dumbest Dallas sports trade this year!
Although, is it? Luka Doncic was a more valuable guy, but Dallas at least got Anthony Davis for him. The Cowboys get a mid DT and two first-rounders. Those two first-rounders could end up as Pro Bowlers! Even all pros! Players on the level of say…Micah Parsons! I cannot fathom how awful it must feel for those young Dallas fans to lose two of their stars in the same year to such malpractice.
It brings me untold amounts of joy that the entire Cowboys fanbase is eagerly waiting for Jerry Jones to die and he keeps cranking out masterpieces and staying alive.
And they are dancing, the board floor slamming under the jackboots and the fiddlers grinning hideously over their canted pieces. Towering over them all is the Jerrah and he is naked dancing, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and pale and hairless, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he’ll never die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favorite, the Jerrah. He wafts his hat and the lunar dome of his skull passes palely under the lamps and he swings about and takes possession of one of the fiddles and he pirouettes and makes a pass, two passes, dancing and fiddling at once. His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the Jerrah. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.