Cam Newton’s New Hairdo
So uh…what the hell is this hairdo?
Look I’m not the most fashionable guy in the world. Far from it. I’m a complete uncaring slob. I’ve been getting the same haircut since I was a teen. That haircut is “wait 4 months until it gets long enough to fall in my eyes and annoy me and then cut most of it back off”. I own more sweatpants than dress pants. I like wearing baseball caps. Hoodies are my go-to. I own roughly 4 pairs of shoes, and all 4 have very specific uses (Walking, Hefty Boots, Exercise Sneakers, & Slippers). I have dressed this way since childhood. I am 31 years old, already married, and have never given a shit about fashion. My wife is not exactly thrilled by this, btw. Too late, she committed.
My point is I am willing to concede I do not understand fashion, so there may very well be a movement or style to his hair that I just…don’t get. There are lots of hairstyles I don’t quite understand but still think look pretty good. But if there is a reason or even a black cultural purpose to this that I am unaware of, can someone explain why looking like you legitimately took a weed whacker to your head is a style? Cam Newton looks like he was having a problem with birds perching on his head, and then saw one of those “anti-perching spike strips” you see on city windowsills and thought “now that’s an idea worth emulating!” It looks like my hair looks if I use too much shampoo and shape it into random spikes. It looks like he got struck by lightning. He looks like a sponge that got briefly caught in the garbage disposal.
He looks like a dark souls weapon. One you’d probably get by beating a boss and upgrading a regular +10 mace with the soul of that boss. Probably super heavy and has low durability but hits like a truck and does bleed damage. Good for clearing through mobs of lowly mooks and a quality pvp option. Talking to the right NPC with the Cam equipped will give you the “dab” pose. He might not even be a dark souls weapon. He might be a bloodborne enemy. His hair is the eldritch truth, found under Byrgenwerth and it poisons you if he touches you with it.
EDIT:
So I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should post this one or not last night because I wasn’t sure if I was being culturally insensitive through ignorance. It looks like I might have been a little bit, so I’m sorry about that. I want to signal boost a comment below that actually explains the purpose and meaning of the hairdo. If you take anything away from this post, at least take this.
So obviously you white boys dont understand black culture. Have you ever heard of the Weeknd? Its called freeform locs. And da purpose of havin them is show your independence as a free thinker or to rebel against da system or to show your allegiance to black culture. Its almost similar to what Rastafarians do or ppl in South Florida do.
Cam’s hair legit looks like a black, mostly eaten, bloomin’ onion
So obviously you white boys dont understand black culture. Have you ever heard of the Weeknd? Its called freeform locs. And da purpose of havin them is show your independence as a free thinker or to rebel against da system or to show your allegiance to black culture. Its almost similar to what Rastafarians do or ppl in South Florida do.
Thank you for taking the time to offer an explanation to the meaning of the style. I asked in the post mostly because I genuinely wasn’t sure and Cam is already known for having an eclectic sense of fashion. I wasn’t sure if it was a style or just him doing his own thing.
It’s actually a fairly common hairstyle around my parts. Looking at the picture of Cam, it fits him. Actually, I think embracing his roots would be an enormous upgrade over some of what he wears. His fashion isn’t too bad. It’s just so over the top. If he dialed it back just a bit, it would be cool I think. And for the record, I am one of those “white boys” lol. I understand enough about black culture to admire the love they have for their heritage. At least when it’s done properly. That goes for all races, because heritage not done right only makes things worse everywhere around you.
Calm down. You don’t have to get so racist because one person asked what he’s doing with his hair.
I’m black and I think it looks ridiculous
Seeing as his outfit progresses with the weapon, what does he turn into with Cam? CMC? Kyle Allen? “The Gambler”, Ron Rivera’s alter ego? Who knows
Whatever outfit he gains with the Cam Mace, I guarantee it comes with a hat.
I would love one last panel to see that outfit. Maybe he can be holding the “Cam Mace” at a press conference lol.
And something, even if just a pocket square, will be purple.
So a Bloodborne Boss, the Great Old One ‘Cam, Bearer of the Babushka’ that gets staggered when you interrupt him throwing a pass? Yeah, I can see that.
The Evolution of Doctor Swickles?
…that my Dark Souls thought box and my Football thought box have crossed paths, and it’s making me incredibly uncomfortable.
+50 Weight? Are you implying that Cam may be weighing the team down right now? I kid, I kid. But seriously, that fashion sense certainly is worth a few more points in the minus column. This comic made me chuckle.
It is not for whites to question black hairdos.
White people think bowl cuts are still ok. We aren’t allowed to judge any hair styles.
The bowl cut is unquestionably part of white culture, along with the mullet and the wife-beater, and also muscle shirts. It is culturally insensitive to point out how terrible those looks appear on a person!
Jean-Michel Basquiat is most likely the inspiration behind the hair…look up that artist and you may get the answer to your question. A lot of hip hop/fashion artist cite his stuff.
Is not for white culture to understand. White culture has never liked our hair. Our hair naturally locs up when we go without combing it or brushing it. Having dreadlocs is a threat to white culture because it shows independence & it shows we have a free mind. As a matter of fact it was Europeans that tagged da word “Dread” in front of locs because when they seen us for da 1st time they thought our hair was dreadful which means they feared our hair. That still resonates today. Yall want us all to look like yall & have clean cut shaved looks. His hair is not bothering anybody. Theres nothin to fear. Hes not gonna jump out of a back alley & attack u. You dont have to clutch yo purse on da elevator. Calm down & let him do him & be free.
I actually love black hairstyles. Growing up, people thought I was mixed because of my hair. I’ve always wanted dreadlocks too but there was just no way. I couldn’t grow my hair out long enough. It doesn’t grow down, just out and up. I can rock a mean fro though. I loved Kaep’s fro. I’m glad the NFL hasn’t put regulations on player hairstyles. That gives them a level of uniqueness that is all their own.
All he’s saying is that he doesn’t like his hairstyle.
De gustibus non est disputandum
Thinking someone’s hairstyle is odd is not the same thing as judging them personally or trying to restrict their personality. Calm down buddy.
I personally think it makes him look like Goku but that’s just me.
HA! If he dyes it blue to match his jersey, the Panthers won’t lose again this year.
^
Whatever it is, it’s something I can’t do with my hair. Point, Cam.
He can do whatever he wants with his hair.
Personally I don’t care as long as it is clean (like washed clean, not like clean cut.)
that guy’s really lucky on finding those chests, I seldom find any treasure just out in the world
A bard or rogue would not be using a steel mace. Maybe a priest or an exceptionally desperate warrior.
You missed the point. Would any of them be using a Cam Newton?
Have any plans for comic 1000 Dave?
Better than Russell Westbrook’s hair.