So uh…what the hell is this hairdo?

Look I’m not the most fashionable guy in the world. Far from it. I’m a complete uncaring slob. I’ve been getting the same haircut since I was a teen. That haircut is “wait 4 months until it gets long enough to fall in my eyes and annoy me and then cut most of it back off”. I own more sweatpants than dress pants. I like wearing baseball caps. Hoodies are my go-to. I own roughly 4 pairs of shoes, and all 4 have very specific uses (Walking, Hefty Boots, Exercise Sneakers, & Slippers). I have dressed this way since childhood.  I am 31 years old, already married, and have never given a shit about fashion. My wife is not exactly thrilled by this, btw. Too late, she committed.

My point is I am willing to concede I do not understand fashion, so there may very well be a movement or style to his hair that I just…don’t get. There are lots of hairstyles I don’t quite understand but still think look pretty good. But if there is a reason or even a black cultural purpose to this that I am unaware of, can someone explain why looking like you legitimately took a weed whacker to your head is a style? Cam Newton looks like he was having a problem with birds perching on his head, and then saw one of those “anti-perching spike strips” you see on city windowsills and thought “now that’s an idea worth emulating!” It looks like my hair looks if I use too much shampoo and shape it into random spikes. It looks like he got struck by lightning. He looks like a sponge that got briefly caught in the garbage disposal.

He looks like a dark souls weapon. One you’d probably get by beating a boss and upgrading a regular +10 mace with the soul of that boss. Probably super heavy and has low durability but hits like a truck and does bleed damage. Good for clearing through mobs of lowly mooks and a quality pvp option. Talking to the right NPC with the Cam equipped will give you the “dab” pose. He might not even be a dark souls weapon. He might be a bloodborne enemy. His hair is the eldritch truth, found under Byrgenwerth and it poisons you if he touches you with it.

So I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should post this one or not last night because I wasn’t sure if I was being culturally insensitive through ignorance. It looks like I might have been a little bit, so I’m sorry about that. I want to signal boost a comment below that actually explains the purpose and meaning of the hairdo. If you take anything away from this post, at least take this.

So obviously you white boys dont understand black culture. Have you ever heard of the Weeknd? Its called freeform locs. And da purpose of havin them is show your independence as a free thinker or to rebel against da system or to show your allegiance to black culture. Its almost similar to what Rastafarians do or ppl in South Florida do.