I had someone request that I do a comic about QBs always licking their hands. It was an odd request and probably intended as a joke, but it got me thinking. I’ve never really thought about it before, but yeah, QBs do lick their hands a lot. Usually on shotgun snaps. I guess it’s a small way to get a slightly better grip when the ball is snapped, kind of like how some people lick their fingertips while reading a book so they get a better grip on the pages. I always see the same camera shot. For some reason I always picture Ryan Tannehill or Matt Ryan when I think about it, but there is always that camera angle of the QB’s face, close up, licking fingers then doing the well known shotgun formation “leg lift”before it cuts wide to the action.

It’s kind of gross when you actually sit there and consider it. Football fields don’t seem like hygienic places. What kind of stuff does a QB touch on a regular basis? They don’t wear gloves (Teddy Bridgewater is the exception of course) so bare hands touch stuff all the time. Dirt, or turf, pretty frequently. They handle playbooks and clipboards on the sidelines when the defense is on the field. How many people touch that playbook? Offensive coordinators, backups, position coaches, staff. What about the ball itself? The ball hits the dirt. It touches everyone’s hands. The Center. The Runningbacks. The Receivers. The Refs (after every play). Sometimes the defenders. All of these people are sweaty. Then, on top of that, on snaps under center, the QB’s hands are pretty much nursing the Center’s taint. Plus, you know, self adjustments. If you’re a guy you know what I mean.

Licking your hands after all that, even briefly, seems super gross. I’m no germophobe, but it still seems pretty gross. I hope the athletes scrub up pretty good in the showers. Scrub really deep. Get every nook and cranny. Just scrub them bubbles all over.

That last paragraph got away from me