Well, shake it up, Olsen, now (Shake it up, Olsen)
Twist and shout (Twist and shout)
C’mon c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, Olsen, now (Come on Olsen)
If they catch me I’ll get thrown out (get thrown out)

Well, work it on out, Cammy (Work it on out)
Your ankle twists so good (twists so good)
You know you gonna be scream’n, now (Gonna be scream’n)
On the field so loud (on the field so loud)

Well, shake it up, Flacco, now (Shake it up, Flacco)
Your dick knocked me out (Knocked me out)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, Flacco, now (Come on Flacco)
Come on and whip that steel on out (Whip it out)

You know I twist your little foot (Twist, little feet)
You know they twist so fine (Twist so fine)
Fall down and twist a little closer, now (Twist a little closer)
And you’re on IR (I’ll put you on IR)

Well, fine me up, Goodel, now (Fine me up, Roger)
Lie and shout (Lie and shout)
That you care about our safety now (Care that we’re safe)
I hope Rice knocks you out(Knocks you out)

Well, twist it, twist it, twist it, baby, now (Twist it up baby)
Well, twist it, twist it, twist it, baby, now (Twist it up baby)
Well, twist it, twist it, twist it, baby, now (Twist it up baby)

Vontaze Burfict was caught on camera twisting Greg Olson’s ankle, and Cam Newton’s ankle (the one he had surgery on, no less). I think Olsen left the game, too. Basically Vontaze is a jerk. Somewhere, Suh and James Harrison nod and laugh. If Burfict doesn’t shape up now he’s going to become the new Suh. After this Burfict is going to have a microscope on him at all times, just like Suh and Harrison did, and anything he does will be fined and get him suspended. Vontaze is stupid. I think a lot of this happens at the bottom of the pile (Michael Strahan described even worse in his book) but it’s hard to notice, but Vontaze did it very much in the open and when unnecessary, so even if this is a common thing he’s not getting away with it anymore. I did like that he got fined less than Jimmy Graham got fined for dunking the goalposts (25k to 30k) and that no suspension came, and that his next infraction will involve a trip to league headquarters, like a trip to the principals office. This isn’t Vontaze’s first fine, yet it still seems like the NFL is prioritizing goalposts over not intentionally trying to injure another player.

On the plus side, it’s been a few weeks since the NFL screwed up a punishment and had bad PR, my torch and pitchfork were getting cold.