First off, if you haven’t read yesterday’s special update, please do. Then check back tomorrow for another new comic!

I can’t believe this happened. This took Vontae Davis from like, good corner on the downslope of his career to legend in half of one game. Retiring halfway through a game is TV show or twitter shitpost type stuff, not REALITY. Legend. Absolute boss move. The NO MAS moment of football has happened.

I mean seriously he retired at halftime. He went into the locker room, changed, and just went home. It’s…beautiful. We may not get a better stupid football moment this entire season. Even without making the obvious jokes of the Bills being so bad (they are) that they cause a player to quit halfway through this is still amazing in every way. I love it. I want to buy Vontae a drink even if he would pour half down the drain.

I give the man props for understanding he can’t do this job anymore and calling it quits before his body becomes a wreck. But still…halftime? He couldn’t even fake an injury or just like, quietly let the coach know and sit the second half out? Or just finish the game and end it then? Nope, just went into the locker room and didn’t come back out. Ironically the Bills looked better after he left. Maybe it was anger ball at that point. You can do crazy things when you’re mad. I’d be mad if my teammate just kinda walked out.

The Bills were always going to regress but this looks like a top 5 drafting team unless Josh Allen suddenly becomes real good (he wont). Remember when they started Nathan Peterman? Good times. I predict less smashed tables this season in the Ralph’s parking lot: it’s hard to find the enthusiasm when you’re crying all the time.