So the Texans made a big splash this weekend! The kind of splash you can really only make if you don’t have anyone running the ship, which they don’t. It made me wish more teams had ridiculous disasters that led to having no GM. This kind of nonsense rules.

Did the Texans get better this weekend? Well, that’s hard to say. In terms of Jadeveon Clowney…no. That was an obvious loss. Clowney was throwing a fuss wanting to get paid and was likely to leave next year anyway if he played this season at all, so in some ways getting any return on him was worth something. But they didn’t get much. The Seahawks clearly won this trade, getting a solid to sometimes great pass rusher for the low low price of a 2020 3rd rounder, DE/OLB Barkevious Mingo and LB Jacob Martin. The biggest kicker is that the Texans still had to pay Clowney his signing bonus, so the Hawks only have to pay half of what they normally would. They get a one year rental of Clowney for 8 million, and can then extend him past that if they want.

The Tunsil/Stills trade is more interesting. The Texans appear to have seen what happened to division rival Indianapolis and have decided that investing in QB protection is actually a smart move. Good for them! The Dolphins have decided to go full tank mode (poor Rosen) and had a fire sale for Bong Boy and Doesn’t Like Trump And That Made The Billionare Angry Man. Tunsil is an immediate upgrade on the line and is a good player who will greatly help Watson continue to live. Stills is a solid #2 wr who will help open the offense.

Of course, now we have to look at the price. For the offensive anchor and decent weapon, the Texans gave up a 2020 first rounder, a 2021 first rounder, offensive tackle Julie’n Davenport and cornerback Johnson Bademosi. Houston also gets a 2020 4th and a 2021 6th in return. That’s…fairly steep. I guess it depends on just how valuable you think Tunsil is and how close you think the Texans are to actually competing.

The division is clearly wide open for the taking now with Luck dead and the Titans/Jags in mediocrity hell. Despite the Clowney loss the Texans should have an easy path to the playoffs for the next couple years. Keeping Watson safe is a must and the offense should be good now barring injury/playcalling isn’t balls. But they won’t have an ability to get a first round prospect for 2 years now, which could always be a massive boost for teams trying to reach that next level.

I consider myself cautiously optimistic about the Texans moves. I don’t think it was a surefire win in any respect and the Clowney trade was a bust for Houston, but the Tunsil/Stills move is the kind of ballsy shit I wish the NFL had more of and could potentially be a short-term game changer. It could also blow up in their faces and that’s always fun.

FOOTBALL IS BACK THIS WEEK MY FRIENDS

EDIT: WEDNESDAY’S COMIC WILL ACTUALLY GO UP ON THURSDAY TO COINCIDE WITH THE START OF FOOTBALL, SO COME BACK TOMORROW