If there is one sort of kooky downside to being a diehard football fan (and I mean a fan of the sport, not just a team diehard, which I think there’s a difference), is that the Super Bowl is one of the most annoying games to watch all year. Especially if you end up at a big Super Bow party that is attended by more casual fans.

My super bowl watching experience usually involves trying my best to watch it with fellow football fans like myself, because the few times I’ve watched Super Bowls in a casual party setting I ended up sitting next to the TV to drown people out and I never socialized because everyone would shut the hell up during the commercials because the commercials are the reason 90% of Super Bowl party goers show up. It’s incredibly bizarre to a football fan to have the typically least watchable part of any game suddenly be the most important moment in the room. The game could be on the wire on a final drive and people can be yapping but when that stupid hairy horse shilling bud shows up MY GOD DONT YOU SPEAK WHAT IF THE HORSE DOES A THING. Why do people like the stupid leg hair horses so much? Maybe it’s because I’m not a horse guy. Fuck john Elway.

These days I don’t even bother with the commercial watching or halftime watching anymore. You can watch half the Super Bowl ads on youtube the day before the game even airs now, or just watch them all the next day. The commercials feel less inspired now too. There’s a usual pattern. Several movie trailers. The beer ads run early and are usually kinda funny. Then you have the over-long pretentious luxury car commercial. Then you have the year old meme commercial that falls horribly flat, doritos normally has a good one, Snickers seems like it usually has a funny one too. GoDaddy embarrasses itself every year with something disgustingly pandering to dumb perverts. There is usually a truck commercial pandering to blue collar rural types. Most of the commercials are more of a theoretical amusement than actual amusement. The only real highlight anymore is the one out of nowhere ad from a company you’ve never heard of that either kills it or swings and misses so horrendously that you are more shocked than anything that someone thought this was a good idea.

Have a good time at your Super Bowl Party, if you are going to one. I hope you enjoy the sport your way. If you are a more casual fan, remember the game is important to some of the other people there, and be courteous, because for some of us this is the final release of a half year long tension instead of an excuse to socialize, and we like to hear and see what’s happening during the broadcasts, because those are the moments we’ll end up treasuring.