Can we talk about how messed up this is?

Robert Quinn, Cowboys DE, just got suspended for 2 games after using a banned substance. Okay, fine. Happens frequently enough. But then today I saw more details to the story and good lord the NFL is such a  joke.

So Robert Quinn has a brain tumor (jesus christ). He’s apparently had this brain tumor just kinda chilling on his brain since high school (jesus-er christ) and he just got it checked on from time to time to make sure it wasn’t, you know, getting to be a worse brain tumor (jesus-est christ). I just wanted to shout out Robert Quinn for living with a brain tumor all these years like it’s just his friend or something. That’s crazy.

Anyway he takes medicine for his brain tumor (I still can’t like…deal with this) that works to prevent seizures. Apparently, (according to his agent) in the process of filling his ANTI BRAIN TUMOR SEIZURE meds, the pharmacy must have had some residual powder from another medicine sneak into his meds, and the powder contained some trace steroid masking agent chemical. Like, trace. The statement from his agent gives the details you need to understand how rare and suspiciously tiny this amount was.

Not only did this worthless amount of steroid masking agent apparently warrant a 2 game suspension, the NFL apparently admitted that they didn’t suspect Quinn of doping during the hearing…and suspended him anyway. What the absolute fuck. Is the NFL so damn tone deaf that this is worth doing? Is the NFL so blatantly terrified of going case by case after they happened to mess everything up during the Ray Rice/Deflategate scandals? They got put on mega blast for being lenient on Rice, then coming up with a strict 6-game suspension policy, which they then proceeded to ignore for other cases, and took more flack for that. Is this nonsense a response to that? To stick to policy no matter what the circumstances? Part of thinks this is the NFL essentially following policy to make sure they get the PR for it, and they will happily remove the suspension when Quinn inevitably appeals. If they don’t remove the suspension on appeal, for this, the NFL might just straight up be the dumbest organization in sports.

Obviously this is all based on the agent’s statement, which has plenty of bias. We don’t really know the NFL’s side of the argument. But the way the NFL has messed up in the past decade makes it easy to believe it’s legit.

Next time you want to take brain pills Quinn, just hit a woman instead. You’ll be fine that way.