HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FREEDOM! The first and best Brexit anniversary has come and gone and I hope everyone had a great holiday eating BBQ, drinking beer and blowing up aliens. Hopefully none of you blew your hands off like a certain football player. That’s right, I’m talking about CJ Wilson, Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback, who tragically had to leave football to rehab his hand from his fireworks injury last freedom day. It’s horrible to have your football career cut short by losing two fingers. At least CJ momentarily had the world’s attention, and we all gave him much needed support instead of paying overt attention to another guy who blew up his hand who happened to be a superstar on a major market team. Nope, CJ Wilson got his due, and everyone knows his name.

JPP is now always going to remember July 4th as the day a finger decided to declare independence from his hand. He recovered, even though now he has a weird crab hand. I applaud that he’s basically owned up to it and been very open about his mistake. It honestly seems like he’s become a better person out of the ordeal so he may have lost a finger, but he gained humanity. Would you trade a finger for humanity? (I probably wouldn’t, I like my fingers. They can have a toe though. Toes are dumb). From what he’s said about his accident it seemed completely random, something that could happen to anybody and does happen to legions of people every year. He should have been safer, but it’s hard to blame him completely. Fireworks are literally explosives, be smart, kiddies.

But really, I’m happy he’s okay, I’m happy that he’s still a Giant even though I kind of wanted him gone for being a dumbass. I hope he has a good year. I’m dreading the inevitable moment he misses a sack because he can’t grip with his right hand that well and we have lots of replays showing it. But I will never stop making fun of him for it.