So, instead of drawing a comic yesterday, here is what happened instead!

-Went to NYC for the weekend. Wife was running the Marathon. She did it. The Giants beat the Eagles. Everyone was happy.
-Had a flight out Sunday Morning from Newark to Portland via Denver
-Flight was delayed by 2 hours. A problem, because now the flight is scheduled to land in Denver about 2 minutes after the connecting flight leaves for Portland
-Wife has plat status on United thanks to frequent travel with her job. Calls the customer service desk, makes sure we get a backup flight in Denver a few hours later in case we miss the connection as expected. So now we have 2 flights. We are on the first PDX flight should we make it, and a backup with bad seats in case we don’t. Booked safely on both.
-We booked our flights as one reservation. But because Wife is plat status, she was upgraded to TSA pre-check, and because United is stupid, that actually split us up seatwise, the gate agent can’t help, and now I’m stuck in the middle seat in economy for a 4 hour flight
-At this point I’d like to remind everyone I’m 6’4, planes and middle seats aren’t a good situation
-Flight to Denver has me stuck next to some fatso whose big ass elbows naturally sat on the little armrest remote for the TV screen, which meant for the whole flight (even after I sad something) my TV was constantly changing channels, brightness, etc
-Reach the gate, find out that the original connection flight was also delayed! Success! United has screwed and saved us!
-We immediately go up to the gate clerk. The flight is delayed because they have to replace an engine part. That’s something you like to hear. The flight is already half boarded, there are poor people stuck on that plane that should have left 2 hours ago. Good job United
-Gate clerk informs us that we are still indeed booked on this plane, so we don’t have to wait for the 7pm flight.
-This is okay. We paid good money to upgrade to 1st class for this final leg, and we get to do it. And eat dinner on the plane, and we hadn’t had time to eat since 9am
-Get in line when plane begins to board again
-boarding passes dont work, we aren’t on the plane according to the computer
-Go back to gate clerk. She informs us that we are still on the plane, but without seats
-Apparently when we called the instant platinum member service number and made sure to fix our booking, it actually removed us from our seats and gave away the seats. So the seats we paid extra for are now full.
-We say f-it and get the two seats left anyway
-Once again, the two of us are split up. So now I’m stuck in another middle seat trying desperately to not have my lanky frame annoy the people next to me, and she’s stuck way far behind me in a window seat, miserable, because her whole body is sore because she ran 26.2 miles the day before.
-United should refund the money for the seats we didn’t use, but if they don’t, I’m going to make a comic about this and put it here and then shame them on social media and hope people notice
-We were supposed to get into Portland around 5:30, enough time for me to whip up a joke about the Vikings
-We got back 30 minutes ago, at 9pm, and we are both wrecked
-so here is a picture of me falling asleep in Denver

Happy election day, go vote you assholes. Also find a fallout shelter because it doesn’t matter who wins the aftermath is going to be fire.