The greatest disappointment of the draft for me was finding out Derrius Guice’s last name was not pronounced as “Juice”. It is pronounced more like Gice. Like Ice with a hard G in front of it.

What a waste. We could have finally had a true successor to The Juice. One that to my knowledge hasn’t murdered people. If he ended up on the Broncos he could have been Orange Juice. What do we say now? Put ’em on Guice? Guice Guice baby? You’re as cold as Guice, willing to fight for extra yards. Guice cold lemonade, get ya guice cold lemonade here!

Actually now that I think about it if the Skins don’t do a sample remix of Ice Ice Baby with Guice Guice Baby then they should be disbanded and the earth salted so that no team may ever grow in DC again.

Shame he tore his acl. Shame his name isn’t better. Shame he has to work for Dan Snyder. Maybe we should call him Dan Sneedur instead.