Dak Prescott Signs An Autograph
It recently came out that Dak Prescott had some autographs signed by a machine or something? I guess?
I say we ban him from the NFL. This is an incredible blemish on the NFL, that the new star leader of the most well known football team in the league is committing such heinous acts. Those people were looking to just get an autograph from their new hero, and he has a machine do it? This is unacceptable.
Just, I can’t fathom it. How could this happen? What kind of world are we living in that we cannot even trust our superstars to give us authentic autographs? It’s criminal! It just goes to show you what kind of scumbags the NFL tolerates for their product. Wife beaters, pot smokers, and autograph automators. I can’t support this league anymore. We all know the NFL isn’t going to do anything about this, because the NFL is weak. Dak Prescott is a black mark on this league unlike any other, even worse than that guy who probably didn’t deflate footballs, what’s his name. Tim Brody? Who cares he’s a nobody.
Dak should be kicked out of the league and frankly just to be sure the rest of the owners get it, I say we also disband the Cowboys entirely, as a fair punishment to make an example. It’s time we went from high tolerance to zero tolerance. Death Penalty for Dallas. Their championships stripped, their names stricken from the history books forever. In fact, lets just ban the entirety of Texas. Yes, we may lose the Houston Texans, but better to be safe than sorry. We can put JJ and Clowney on a lifeboat and give them to the Browns or something.
Just despicable.
Also suspend Tim Brody for 4 games just because he plays the same position as Dak.
If we lose texas, we gotta lose New York, after obj took a picture with Justin Beiber and the Jets are joining the Browns in moving The Process into the NFL.
Heres free Texas/NY free nfl alignment
AFC East:
Miami Dolphins
New England Patriots
Toronto* Bills
London* Jaguars
Pittsburgh Steelers
Cleveland Browns
Baltimore Ravens
AFC West:
Las Vegas* Raiders
Denver Broncos
Kansas City Chiefs
Tennessee Titans
Los Angeles Clippers (erm… I mean chargers)
Indianapolis Colts
Cincinnati Bengals
NFC East:
Philadelphia Eagles
Washington Redskins
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Detroit Lions
Carolina Panthers
Atlanta Falcons
New Orleans Saints
NFC West:
San Francisco 49ers
Los Angeles Rams
Seattle Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals
Green Bay Packers
Minnesota Vikings
Chicago Bears
*= Will be playing there by 2020
Toronto Bills….you know that whole thing ended when Kim and Terry Pegula bought the franchise right? They did the same with the Sabres…they bought them so they wouldn’t leave Buffalo…ever.
Come on, you don’t want to get rid of the Texans. That’s one less team hating the Cowboys. And Dallas in general. Especially Dallas in general. *And especially* the Cowboys.
I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating, but I genuinely can’t think of another team that has this much hate for a team in another conference.
You certainly aren’t exaggerating, but I think Texans fan hate for the Cowboys is understandable. Cowboys fans, especially those in Dallas, simply chalk it up to petty jealousy and otherwise ignore the Texans. There is some element of jealousy, sure, but there is a much bigger reason for the hate too. Outside of those in two-team markets, I am not sure there is another team that has so many fans of another specific team in its home market. The number of Cowboys fan in and around Houston is remarkable, and Texans fans living in their team’s home market are likely to know, work with, and interact with many Cowboys fans. This, understandably, breeds contempt, even when the teams play each other sparingly.
This hate has been going on a long time, too, its roots date back to the 60s and 70s when a lot of people moved to Texas from elsewhere in the country. This coincided almost exactly with both the Cowboys’ success and rise to national prominence as “America’s Team” and the Oilers’ slide into the NFL’s cellar. Many of these folks new to the state started rooting for the Cowboys, even those who had moved to Houston. It makes sense, the Cowboys were good, they were cool, and they were on television in Houston every week. Longtime Houstonians and Oilers fans, of course, saw these new Cowboys fans in their midst as front-running carpetbaggers. When even the revered Bum Phillips “Luv Ya Blue” Oilers failed to eradicate the Cowboys fanbase in Houston, the hate was destined to continue for years to come. And so it has.
Where was the Eli merch meme? I think it’s absolutely hillarious that Peyton and Eli’s “scandles” are as goofy as you would expect. Peyton for sexual harassment for mooning someone (she claims he teabagged he but who teabags people butt first? Still goofy AF), and only Eli would try to fake “authentic worn gear”.
Also, doesn’t this increase the value of Daks merch now? 20 years from now people will be searching for merch authentically signed by Daks robot.
“Where was the Eli merch meme?”
thatsthejoke.jpg
#Dakgotarobottosignautographsforhiminsteadofdoingithimselfgate
Goddamnit
Next thing we know, Eli is secretly a stand user.
Watashi no sutando, Rokettopoppu!
Well, he does have a decent replacement for ORA in ODELL
Is Dak left handed or right handed? Seems like Dave draws him writing with his left hand
He’s right handed obviously.
He’s not either handed, you weirdos
He’s a robot
Robots are ambidextrous. And since they don’t have desires or urges, both hands are the exact same strength.
Don’t even JOKE about JJ going to the Browns. DON’T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME RICKY BOBBY!!!
Okay, let me explain this clearly so you can understand this:
DALLAS IS NOT PART OF TEXAS. DALLAS RESIDES IN THE TERRITORY OF SOUTH OKLAHOMA. THERE IS ONLY ONE NFL TEAM IN THE STATE OF TEXAS, & THAT IS THE HOUSTON TEXANS.
So with Prez and Dez out of a job, does this mean the end for Fez’s hat shop?
The fact that Dak resembles Dez in the second and third panels makes this funnier to me
I want Dak Presbot to have his own children’s cartoon show.
Can;t wait for the epic crash and burn.