I guess 3 seasons is the statute of limitations about giving a player a pass based on them having a funny name as at this point everybody seems about done with Mr. Blake Bortles.

The Bort is having a rough go of things lately. The Jags have turned over a new leaf, booting out human pep talk with no substance Gus Bradley to go with the angry gritty old tough guy mentality of Tom Coughlin and Doug Marrone. None of that drum circle good vibes crap. We’re back in the shit. Bortles doesn’t get a pass anymore, in the same vein that he can’t pass to begin with.

I was rooting for Bortles. Part of me always will, despite him looking like my Dad (THIS MAN IS 25 YEARS OLD). But it’s clear the Bort may have reached his peak, and that peak is garbage time super hero. He looked bad in his first year (fine), took some positive steps his second year (good!), then regressed and just showed he may have been shit all along last year (SAD!). Bort has all the physical tools to be a good QB, but the mental stuff just isn’t there. He’s had his chances to turn things around, and if he still can’t beat out crappy QB pasta Chad Penne for the starting job well that probably marks the end for ol’ Borty. He’ll languish on the bench or get released and probably have another job before Kaep does anyway.

I mean how pathetic is it that Bort can’t beat out Chad Henne. Chad Henne gave up trying to be a starter 3 years ago. You can tell, because he hasn’t tried to find another job like most journeyman crap QBs do. Josh McCown fought behind the lines for years trying to be a starter again and by golly he pulled it off, good for him. Real bootstraps guy that Josh McCown.  He’s like Matt Moore, he found a comfy spot where he can play in a pinch if necessary but mostly he can get a sweet paycheck, play backyard ball at practice, and not get hurt. Now he’s back in contention and I have to wonder if he even wants the job. being a backup QB is a sweet gig.

So the sun may be setting on our friend Mr Bortles, who can then go and find his true calling: being a domesticated toothless suburban Dad with 3 kids (only 1 of which he really wanted). He drives a minivan. He is the middle manager at a local bank branch but can’t move up thanks to “office politics”. He has a reasonable house and likes to hold BBQs to feel important. He goes hunting, but only once a year with old college buddies and they never catch anything, just drink beer in the woods. He has an old dilapidated boat that he bought once in a shed in his backyard. He plans on refurbishing it, but he’s had it for years and his wife keeps yelling at him to get rid of it, but he can’t, because that boat represents the last vestiges of his independence. He also coaches the elementary school’s pre-school team and he’s a little too hard on the kids. be the man you were always meant to be, Blake. Be Mr. Bortles, and operate the neighborhood carpool.

Happy comic 700! Hopefully none of you went blind with the eclipse yesterday. I saw a 99.2% eclipse and it was decidedly meh, I give it a solid C.