The Patriots getting more Rings is certainly horrific ho ho ho ho *is pelted with tomatoes*

Okay so maybe it’s 8 Days from when this comic goes live but deal with it or just read it tomorrow. The Patriots are in the Super Bowl and the biggest Patriots storyline of the season is the deflategate revenge, and many people are looking forward to seeing Goodell hand over the trophy to the player and team he screwed over in the season he successfully damaged.

A lot of people, including myself, realize that it’s probably the biggest and most valid reason to root for the Patriots next Sunday. Honestly outside being a Pats fan or a bitter Saints/Bucs/Panthers fan, it might be the only true valid reason to root for the Patriots. Thing is, I don’t think it’s a particularly good reason. My bias against the Pats on this site is undeniable by now but if I sit back and try to look at it from a distance, it’s still not that compelling. It’s just a nice little cap off to the end of a dumb story that probably never should have existed, and if it happens, I highly doubt it will be anywhere near as satisfying as we all think it will be. It won’t really feel like justice. It will be for Patriots fans, since it’s the latest in a long line of ways they’ve managed to convince themselves the best franchise of the past two decades is still somehow an underdog, but for the rest of us, it won’t be.

Let’s be honest. If the Patriots win, the trophy presentation will be slightly awkward at worst. Brady and the Pats have kept mum on the situation as motivation even though everyone alive knows Brady would love to stick it to the man. But people keep anticipating this like we’ll be watching Goodell throw a tantrum and refuse to hand it over, or break down, or Brady will have a mic drop moment and stick it to him in a speech. All that’s going to happen is both individuals will put on a acting pleasant face that’s fairly indistinguishable from the real thing (They are both well practiced) and everyone will be professional about it. It’ll be a passing moment of nothing that will get more interesting reactions on youtube as relatives film Patriots fan friends yelling SUCK IT ROGER to their TVs. Ultimately, is that really worth having yet another Patriots championship to cap off a largely disappointing year of football? I don’t think so. The revenge storyline completion isn’t really a reason to root for the Pats for unbiased fans, it’s more of a consolation prize should the less desirable result occur. Nobody is saying “I want the Pats to win to stick it to Roger”, it’s more “Well if the Patriots win, at least we get to see Roger give the trophy to Brady happen”

Also, the Patriots losing, besides the typical schadenfreude, will also contain all the worst Pats fans crying conspiracy and my god will it be hilarious. I don’t want Roger to win and be happy, but I don’t want it to come at the expense of a starved fanbase like Atlanta.

I’ll leave you with this. If the Pats win, this comic gets a follow up. If the Falcons win, well, Matt Schaub is on the Falcons. You might remember a certain running joke long dormant that involved Matt Schaub and championships. If Matt Schaub gets a ring…

Ringless Rivers Returns